Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a jungle and found a flower which had magical powers in its scent…
No. I don’t have any interesting stories to tell, like how many bloggers do. Its such a talent to write things from your daily life and put it in such a way which others enjoy reading.
Ornithophobia is a fear of birds. There are people who have a fear of anything which flies, and some fear just birds. I too suffer from this phobia. I agree that birds are such a beautiful creation of Allah like everything else. And I do admire their beauty and all.
This fear of mine had a very low reading on the phobia scale. BUT, one fine(which you will later find that it turned into a very un-fine one) summer evening around 8-9 yrs back my mom told me to close the sliding doors to the balcony and switch on the air conditioner. I went towards the door, unaware of the fact that this was my last peaceful walk to the balcony. I began closing the doors (its a long process because our balcony is a little longer than the normal length I have seen in apartments here.) Anyhow I am closing the doors and talking to my mom and they just wont close. Just a tiny little gap was left. I thought maybe its a tiny pebble or something so I pushed harder. No effect. I looked down for the obstruction, didn’t see anything, looked up and then looked down again. I screamed and yelled and I don’t know what all I did. I pushed the doors open and ran to the room farthest from the balcony, locked myself and cried. Between the sliding doors was the neck of a pigeon who wasn’t feeling well that day( I later remembered my mother telling me that she had kept some grains and water for the pigeon that day). I just cant erase that from my memory. I know, I know.. all those vegetarians will be thinking , hundreds of such birds are killed everyday just to satisfy our taste buds. But, this was different. That poor pigeon who was already unwell and to take shelter from the heat outside had kept its head on the tiles inside and I did my level best to kill it! I can never forget those eyes. Those round, black eyes were pleading me not to kill. Ya Allah!
From that day on wards my fear has crossed the higher limit. I jump and scream at the sight of a pigeon, sometimes even any other bird. I scoot down in the middle of the street, if I see a pigeon flying somewhere near me. I close my eyes while driving if there is a pigeon on the road, and start honking like crazy. What do I fear? I feel like every pigeon knows what I did that day. And one day all of them are going to take revenge.
Presently, my balcony is like a hangout place for pigeons. my parents and sisters like before keep food and water for them. I hardly go out to the balcony now. Even if I have to I bang on all the glass doors to make sure there are no pigeons.Very carefully I plan my steps before stepping out. Which aren’t more than 2. As my mom only asks me to hand over the extra boxes she stores in the balcony, which are luckily just kept near the door.
I say, the pigeons too share the blame of this heightened fear of mine. Whenever I try to shoo them away, they just stare back at me. As soon as I see a pigeon, and that horrible incident crosses my mind, that pigeon very slowly turns its head and stares. EEEE!!.. Its scary.
The flit-flatter they do with their wings. That weird sound they make. And the way they just keep clicking their beaks into things. Any of these is enough for me to get into an anxiety attack.
I once read a hadith which went something like, one shouldn’t run away from fears but dive into it.I don’t see that happening anywhere in the future (though my dad is very keen to push me in the balcony and lock me there until I don’t get over this fear) I think the day I go in the middle of pigeons will be my last.
I know its a stupid kind of a fear. I really try not to act this way, but, I cant help it. Sometimes I feel really weak. Once during college time, I was sitting with a couple of friends(only 2 of them were aware of my ‘irrational’ fear-as they called it) in the canteen. It was a birthday treat and there were some other class mates too with whom I wasn’t very close to. Now my college’s canteen used to be more of a bird house at the end of the day so I hardly went there at that time. My friends had dragged me to the canteen and now, there were these orange beaked black birds all around the table, pecking on the left overs of the day (Yes, our canteen was not a very clean one). I was controlling myself to not run away from there. I didn’t want others to know about it. I didn’t even realise, tears were trickling down my face. When one of the guys at the table noticed me and got worried and I could see from the corner of my eye, my friend explaining to him about my fear. And he made this weird face.I felt so eeee.. I don’t know what.
Once in India, I had to get some books from my study room on the 2nd floor. Nobody stays on the 2nd floor usually so the lights were out. I climbed the stairs and switched on the lights but it didnt work. So, I looked at the bulb. And Screamed!! There on the bulb was a pigeon sitting and staring.That deathly stare. Even my scream didn’t make it flitter and flatter it’s wings like normally pigeons do( I am thankful for that, because that would have killed me for sure.). I ran downstairs screaming and crying. ” There is a pigeon upstairs.. (waiting to kill me) I yelled!! What was my fault? None. No windows were found open.! Really don’t when that pigeon must have flown in and settled on that bulb, waiting for me.
I really have this feeling that these pigeons in my balcony are planning revenge.
Until next time ( If I don’t fall prey to the pigeons, that is.),